It’s the secret sauce energizing the trajectory toward a powerful next level experience. Without it, efforts to build success are fleeting and in some cases, can be harmful to your psyche.
A strong foundation of confidence is a required building block as you design and pull in desired outcomes and experiences. A confident mindset allows you to move with credibility and speak with authority. At the same time, over-confidence comes across as aggressive and will only push people away.
We’ve all seen it. The woman that walks into the room, and all eyes immediately swing to her with admiration and even a little envy. A story is spun in the minds of those watching as she stands and surveys her surroundings. Why does such a person spiral up that type of interest within us?
We’re fascinated by the energy she flows. Her self assurance mystifies and leaves us wondering how she manages to pull it off so beautifully. Her stance, how she holds her head, the expression on her face and her sense of style, all communicate one very important fact to those watching; I’m here, I matter and I’m worthy of the attention bestowed on me. Now whether or not you believe she deserves the attention, the fact is, she believes it and her entire sense of self conveys that message to onlookers.
What about you? Do you command the type of attention that stirs curiosity within people and magnetizes positive circumstances and opportunities into your life? Are others attracted to your ethos and public persona and clamor to know more or do they dismiss you as inconsequential, having little to offer?
Whether you know it or not, you’re continuously emitting a powerful narrative, telling the world how you feel about yourself. It flows from you in the form of vibrations like signals from a radio tower and can be seen in the way you move, hold and even dress your body.
Below are 6 distinct ways you can increase confidence through the use of body language.
If you can do nothing else to level up your confidence factor, smile.
Smiles break through barriers. They lower defenses and light up situations. It’s a dose of sunshine. Smiling is a sign of positivity running through your veins. Elegant women don’t walk around with a frown on their face. It’s unmannerly and won’t go far if your intention is to make friends and attract positive aspects into your life.
Smiles are a powerful likability tool. Use it authentically. If you overdo it, it comes across as a sign of insecurity and becomes a credibility thief.
Smiling conveys to the world and yourself, that you’re a happy person.
Confident, strong speakers command the world. The ability to use your voice as a powerful communication tool should be the goal if you intend to lead others or boost your elegance factor. The way you speak plays a big role in your body language and the impression you leave on people.
It’s not really what we say, but how we say it.
Your tonality showcases your level of confidence. Insecure people often have a weaker or irregular pitch to their voice while confident people speak with strength and clarity.
While it’s important to have a strong voice, being loud is not an option especially if you’re working toward building your elegance factor. Ladies, as much as we’d like to be free to hang out and be ourselves, loudness and aggrandizing our mannerisms especially through speech, only causes us to lose what was initially hoped for, credibility and respect.
Also, learn to speak up. Strong, clear communication is a must especially in social and work situations. Getting lost in the crowd is not the message you want to send.
Calm & Contained
Ladies, by our very nature, we are emotional creatures. We are more apt to show or vent our emotions, more so than men, so it’s easier for us to become overly expressive during certain times and situations.
Yes, being emotional may come across as passion however, depending on the circumstances and the audience, you also risk the chance of overwhelming people with all that energy.
Place your focus on remaining calm, no matter what may arise. Breathe through negative situations and constrain yourself from ‘freaking out’. Controlled people exude power and respect. Appearing to be flighty or all over the place is a signal that you need to summon up more awareness. I’m not advocating you become dull and boring. Simply collect your energies and step back so you can see situations with greater clarity.
Cultivate A Beautiful Handshake
Handshakes are your initial greeting with others. A strong handshake properly executed speaks volumes and says a lot about your level of confidence.
Weak handshakes are a social demise. It amazes me to this day how many people still don’t put much effort into cultivating skillful handshakes. When done without thought or performed like a dead fish, the receiver of your limp shake spins a negative story about your abilities or even your character. It may seem unfair, but it’s an unspoken transfer of energy and information, one which you have control over. Miss the opportunity to share strong, clear energy and in effect, you’ve just watered down or even killed the opportunity for an otherwise wonderful connection to another human being.
Make Yourself Bigger
It’s almost impossible to see ourselves as we walk and carry our bodies throughout the day.
Self analysis, whether done alone or with the help of a friend or consultant is important and will serve you well. Over the years, we’ve mimicked poses and stances that grew into habits that created the image we’re portraying. Sloppy standing and sitting is now the norm within our society. Body positioning in these ways are not only harmful to your image they are damaging your skeletal health.
Do you slouch your shoulders forward and hold your head down as you walk? You’d be surprised by what you’d find once you place your awareness on your default body posture.
During my years in modeling and finishing school, maintaining proper posture played a large part in cultivating confidence. I was constantly made to stand straight and pull my shoulders back. I initially resented it, but then saw the benefits of carrying myself with pride.
Pulling your shoulders back and holding your head high as you extend your neck allows you to expand your chest cavity and breathe easier. It also allows you to take up a greater amount of space.
As you expand and take up more space, make eye contact with people and extend the period in which the contact remains. It will take practice but it helps build confidence and power.
Nothing spirals up a sense of appreciation faster than encountering a thing of beauty. We are creatures that are naturally attracted to beautiful things, beautiful landscapes, beautiful works of art and of course, beautiful people.
Those that take the time and effort to pull together a look showcasing themselves, exude a sense of confidence. How you clothe yourself speaks to your capacity to stand out and be seen as well as scrutinized. To varying degrees, we are all exhibitionists. We present ourselves in a way to either get as little attention or as much of if as we can muster.
View yourself as a walking work of art. In today’s world, your style choice is considered your personal brand. How you dress signifies the narrative of your brand. Is your brand powerful? Is it strong and confident? Is it fun and approachable? It it serious and business-minded? Is it lacking cohesion, purpose and intent? Whatever it is, make it beautiful, well thought out and clean, if it’s not already so.
As I said, we are a walking work of art. Don’t miss an opportunity to showcase yourself through colour choice and style creation and even accessories. Always select QUALITY. Cheap, ill-made clothes speak volumes. Ensure you’re well groomed and impeccable as not to distract people away from your conversation or message.
People are attracted to attractive people. It’s not about who’s best looking, but who’s the best pulled together. Anyone can make themselves attractive. Make an effort to show up well styled. If jeans are your thing, find out how to create the best denim look in town. If you continually miss the mark with your style, enlist the services of a consultant that can work to help you discover what will work best for your particular tastes, vibe and body type. Remember, decisions about who you are based on how you present yourself. It’s not fair, but it’s how it is.
If your style/look is outdated, get help and bring it into the present. People perceive an outdated, tired look with a lackluster mind. Again…it may not be fair, it’s just the way it is.
The above 6 tips on confidence and body language will help you get started. No one was born knowing any of these and had to take time and practice to make it work on their behalf. It’s not too late to acquire the understanding to make change and shift to your next best version of yourself. You just need the right tools and knowledge.
I’d be glad to assist you if help is required.