Think back to your childhood, when as kids, growing up with siblings who annoyed you endlessly, and once you finally had enough of their harassment, drew an imaginary line, either across a room in your home, most likely your shared bedroom, or outside in the sand in the playground.
This invisible boundary constituted your protected space, that once crossed, would ignite an epic battle for domination and glory with you as the victor, of course. You almost wished they came over so you’d have valid reason to lay the law down with either a punishing headlock or sloppy licks to their face. What, you never did that?
Whether you drew those lines or not, or whether it was done to keep you out or for you to keep others at bay, you understand the concept of boundary creation. The formation of the forbidden zone.
Somewhere between transitioning from child to adult, you bargained with life and in doing so, erected invisible lines, then refused to cross them solely to keep yourself safe from a multitude of potentially damaging things or so you imagine(d).
Are you aware that what you’ve in fact created were limits? Limitations that are now so embedded within your psyche, crossing them cause you anxiety, filling you with dark dread. And it gets better. In your attempt to AVOID crossing those lines, you unconsciously create stories to help you rationalize staying stuck and in place. Dysfunction is now the flavour of your life.
What seemed so innocent and made sense way back in the day, now holds you back from the fulfillment of your life’s purpose.
Whoa, you might be thinking. It wasn’t your intention to place roadblocks on your path, yet that’s exactly what you’ve done. In the deal you brokered with life to stay safe, you now find yourself outside flow. It tries to reach you, but you’re not letting it in. Possibilities and the blessings life so abundantly would like to send your way, detours.
Yes, you got that right. WTF.
Now that you’re clued in, how can you un-create these blocks?
First, be willing.
It sounds easier than it is, I won’t fool you. A deep dive is the antidote and it’s not for the faint of heart, yet if taken on, spews out so many benefits.
The journey of a lifetime is the journey taken within.
As kitschy and cliche as that quote sounds, it’s your way out of the pit. It’s the way to move beyond the pain of where you find your soul residing. It’s how you unshackle yourself from a tired old, dusty story that no longer works. It’s how you unlock and unhitch the restraints that have burdened you down at this level for so long.
Second, raise your awareness.
If you could have solved this on your own by now, you would have. Confrontation is not my intention, but to be honest, we as humans have an interest in one of two things; to avoid pain and move towards pleasure. That’s been your unconscious game plan for a long time now. Willingly jumping into the sludge and dark spots in search of the proverbial line in your sand, is not as fun as a Netflix marathon coupled with a tall glass of Merlot. Trust me, I know.
Blindspots spin you in place, long after the habit, behaviour or limiting thoughts stopped working for your good. You can’t see them, but instead feel the affects in your money, relationships, health and career. You’re unconscious of the triggers and subsequent fallout, so those boundaries stay rooted in place and life looks much like it did yesterday, last week, month and year.
Begin journalling your experience to see if commonalities exist. Write down all that goes on around you and within your thoughts. Leave nothing out. Consider working with a coach or mentor who can help guide you along your path to clarity and power.
Third, willpower training
Yes, I’m aware that many proponents of personal development say willpower is ineffective. I think there’s loads of value in the use of your willpower if you know how. Like anything else, it takes practice, tiny daily steps until you trust it and it trusts you, like a timid puppy gradually moving closer to your outstretched hand. Discipline is the key to strong will-power. John Rohn describes it best with this fun quote:
An immediate reward for lack of discipline is a fun day at the beach. A future reward of discipline is owning the beach.
I won’t torture you any further with talk of discipline and willpower. You’ve been disappointed so many times in the past. I truly believe the trick to move to your next level of effectiveness is community and accountability. It’s worked small miracles in my life.
To help you get started on a next level experience, here’s a link to sign up and begin the tiny habits challenge, Tiny Habits. It’s beautifully simple and engaging. Try it and let me know what you find.
In the meantime, keep believing in yourself and ability to break through and enter into the other side of your amazing potential.