Pain transforms, not pleasure ~ Rajendra Muthye
I chose this season of Easter, a time of rebirth, to ask a basic yet tough question.
When will you finally commit to your next level transformation?
A process, that if taken seriously, will change aspects of your life you’ve only played at for a long time.
You know how it is. You see or read about those that have acquired what you desire; the healthy, toned body, high energy and confidence, moving through life courageously, exuding vitality, happiness and a strong connection to the essence of life (mojo).
We see these people and at some level believe, it came to them easily.
What we didn’t see was their decisiveness to set change in motion and the powerful commitment to persevere when things got tough.
Yes, life gets tough when change takes hold.
I don’t know about you, but each time I chose to make my way forward, my life fell apart in epic proportions. My security and sense of safety disappeared.
Even people I thought I could count on, fled the scene either emotionally or physically or both.
When you step into the arena of change, the ‘wilderness experience’ comes rushing up to blindside you. All those experts and gurus who sold you on the virtues of change and transformation now seem like con artists in your eyes.
How could there be beauty and growth in the messiness of this struggle? And that’s the trouble with change. No one tells you the truth about the pain because the sizzle and the sale are found in the pleasure.
But to paraphrase Muthye, the magic is found as you pass through the pain.
The shift toward any worthwhile endeavour; a stronger, healthier body, an increase in life’s abundance, upgraded love relationships, or a powerful connection to your inner genius, to name a few, come with a price that in a lot of cases take you away from pleasure or good feelings.
In Freudian psychoanalysis, the pleasure principle is the instinctive seeking of pleasure and avoiding of pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs.
Freud contrasted the pleasure principle with the counterpart concept of the reality principle, which describes the capacity to defer gratification of a desire when circumstantial reality disallows its immediate gratification.
In infancy and early childhood, the id rules behavior by obeying only the pleasure principle. People at that age only seek immediate gratification, aiming to satisfy cravings such as hunger and thirst, and at later ages, sex.
Maturity is learning to endure the pain of deferred gratification. This is the masterful path to manifesting what you desire.
In parts of your life, you have delayed gratification long enough to accomplish specific goals; school graduation, parenting, career advancement, financial accumulation etc. yet, there are places you continually struggle.
So I’ll ask again, when will you be ready to commit to your next level transformation and dump the fear of discomfort?
Perhaps you don’t have enough clarity around what you want. Maybe you do know but don’t believe you can achieve it, or you just don’t want to make any change. Life is good enough and you can’t be bothered to put in the effort/energy that transformation requires.
As a mentor, I love working with the first two types of people:
- those that need help clarifying their vision
- those that need help elevating their belief factor, confidence and courage
The third group will never make a move unless something catastrophic occurs and maybe not even then. The vibe of ‘who cares’ or ‘I can’t be bothered’ is a powerful one. I slide away from these types. I send them love but don’t waste time attempting to change their mind.
I won’t kid you, change and transformation is not easy and at times can be hell.
I recently committed to a health change and for a couple days thought I was leaving this earth. My entire body was wracked with pain as toxins were eliminated. Then it stopped. Joy came. The difference was palatable.
The commitment to stay the course no matter what got me across the finish line. Why put myself through this process?
Because I have a strong, clear picture of how I intend to show up for myself and my clients. A desire for powerful vitality, energy and clarity all which were partly blocked by the condition of my body at the time, is at the foundation of the vision I’ve constructed for my life.
The internal sludge had to go including any unforgiveness or negativity held in my body and mind.
The pleasure and the pain. The pain and the pleasure. You have a choice.
Either decide to stay as one peering across to the land of mastery, wishing and hoping for better days and circumstances, or, one of those rare individuals.
One that takes charge, making life enhancing decisions and commits to the process, no matter how long it takes or how hard it gets.
During this season of Easter, of hope and rebirth, choose to make your mojomove toward mastery and self-love.
And most importantly, don’t let the prospect of pain deter you from the life you intend to live.